Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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