Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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