i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
