That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
