Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize