My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
