So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
