It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.