I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I FOUND THE LEGS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"