MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy