he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.