She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.