I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
