you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
