What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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