I cockslap morals
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
