two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
