My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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