Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
