yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
