Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize