He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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