maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
