Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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