Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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