And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's the barista slut.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize