When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
