i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize