yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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