Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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