Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
