You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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