yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize