I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
