now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
