Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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