I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Never underestimate the power of titties
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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