Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
