this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
