you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
