called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
