OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
