you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
