I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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