Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
