what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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