did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
