i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
