college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
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