Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
