We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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