2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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