Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Banned from zoo.
Again?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
