4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
