Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
