My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I would ride that face into the sunset
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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