Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
