This house was built for laser tag.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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