I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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