the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
