I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
