Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
